Naked

Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the city, she stood still as time froze around her. She had her eyes fixated onto one entity afar that she forgot she was surrounded by plenty. Her mind was in a state of limbo and was floating with the flow of her thoughts.

Unguarded, she started to strip in the middle of the crowded street. Everyone who passed by would stop to watch her while they passed by her. Some even stopped their conversations and looked straight at her. A few others took their smart devices out to capture what they were witnessing. Another group called out to more people and brought their attention to her. Whispers, scribbling papers, flashes of light, nothing diverted her eyes from what it was focused on.

Naked in front of the world, she was lost and her eyes didn’t feel ashamed looking at people staring at her, neither did her ears get numb with the sound of the chattering crowd. Astonished as they were, the crowd started to disperse after enjoying the short span of free entertainment. The chattering sounds stopped, the lights stopped flashing, scribbling of papers died and the eyes stopped rolling while she made no movement. She was forgotten in a few hours and the world had moved on.

Hours later she smiled as tears started pouring from her eyes. She felt light-hearted, happiness filled her mind which now was at peace. She was clean of her guilt, suffering, embarrassment, sorrow and misery. It took her years to come in terms with the wild heart she kept caged inside of her. She now learnt that it was easier to be her real self and set herself loose than be trapped in a cage for a world that never saw anything beyond her flaws.

Caged

 

That funny feeling lingered on for days, as if it had been just hours since she last met him. Her mind was occupied only with his reflection. His dark eyes, messy hair and the grip of his strong arms around her. She felt safe. He made her feel safe.

Her heart that was caged behind a prison wall, would not stop trying to break out from it. But the prison walls were so tall and strong, that her heart only grew weary of trying. She was scared to give it all that she had. They told her that prison walls can be climbed over or broken down, if one was determined. But the fear of taking a huge leap and falling hard, only to be crushed into pieces again, kept her from trying harder.

Her soul was lost and wanted to be found. It wished that it be found only by his alone. Her heart could not make a choice between taking the risk and giving it all or carrying more regrets without trying. Day and night her heart and soul would fight. Although both knew deep down that the solution was him, neither of them had much faith in how strong her mind was before she lost her sanity for eternity.

The Optimist vs. The Pessimist

​”Look up”, he said “We will grow for eternity, intertwined together forever.” She wanted to believe him. But all she saw, was the dark edges that shadowed them. Underneath the green cover, it obstructed the light from entering in.

He said “Together we will be safe from the harsh heat and won’t get burned down”. She thought to herself, the shade only took away the light and the warmth. It dimmed the lights and darkened the skies. She was scared that her soul would freeze to death thanks to the cold that surrounded her.

He promised that it would get easier with time. But time was very expensive. One that she couldn’t afford. 

The Link

She blocked him out so that she could fight all her bondage by herself. She made a promise that she will be back soon and he waited patiently awaiting her return. Isolation from the world brought her inner peace. When her soul returned victoriously dancing to the sound of freedom, he was gone. He was away fighting a war against the same demons that she shut him out for.  It was now, her turn to sit cautiously and hope that her soldier returns unharmed.

When the day of his arrival came, she bathed herself in exotic bath, dressed herself in silk clothing and prepared the finest meal. She set the table with clean linen sheet, porcelain crockery, scented candles and a delicate vase with a bunch of red roses. It was time.

At the table, the two sat facing each other and the room was dimly lit by candlelight. Their faces gleamed through the light but as they looked closer into each other their sight blurred further. They were both aware that wars always took a toll on the living. This time, it destroyed their common ground. Their souls were lost and were on a path very different from the other. There was no mutuality and their journey together had reached a diversion.

What of all the mortal longings if one does not need their consort to support through all the good times and the BAD?

Daydream

Each step that she took felt to her as if she was walking on thin air. The Ground was so light that her feet almost gave away. She feared falling hard on her face yet managed to keep her head up, taking every step cautiously.

They say a man shows true courage when he faces his worst fears and breaks it. She envied such admiration. She wanted to be like a brave warrior who bursts through the clutches of his enemies after defeating them and is applauded for it.

Her enemies were worldly fixations created by humans. They bred inside of her and put up a strong struggle crushing her every attempt. It was her own existence that she feared the most. Having grown up under the shadows of deceivers, she feared that she had turned into a monster like them.

She believed that she was journeying through Life in Pursuit of Redemption.

In her heinous world full of envy, hatred, vanity, lust, greed and selfishness it was difficult to yield a kind heard. She knew she would be trampled upon with dirt if she came clean. Her heart was pure in her world of pretense. Blinded by the agony of facing her fears, she believed she was pellucid and closed her mind to the reality.

She continued taking each step only wishing for the best. She hoped what she was walking towards was the path to redemption. She knew that she had failed to think for her and see beyond crude lines. Yet she did not mind living in her daydream. A fantasy she was happy that existed to alleviate her blind, deaf and mute frame.

Virtue

Life in Mumbai is not easy they say. She never agreed to them. Here is why she feels the opposite.

               Walking through the city streets every day from morning to night, she was accustomed to be thrown out of places, spit on by strangers and heard abuses when she went close to them. It did not matter to her how ill-mannered people were. She considered it a part of the life she was living. Her life purpose was to reach out her hand and earn. To her, hard work meant putting up with the forces of the human race that pushed her down and stand strong without letting her determination to live, die within her. She did not have to worry about shelter, as the almighty would look after that necessity of hers. She wanted to feed and protect herself and the little one she dragged with her everywhere she went.

She found happiness in watching the stars at night, feeling the heat of the sun on her palms, watching people smile and munching fresh food. Her hunger to live nurtured her to be unspoilt and humble. She only took what she needed and gave all that she had in serving the ones who looked up to her. When she watched young girls pass by with books and school bags, she would sit on the road and use a small piece of white cement block to write letters and read them loud. She loved the attention she got from different people who appreciated her with some food and goodies. She would impress them with her dance moves and her sweet voice. Her sister banged an old steel plate with hands to make music. Very few paid attention to her happiness. Not many knew what this young child goes through every day.

She is considered a dirt, that filths the nation. Yet she loved her country and her people. She would sell tiny flags on Independence Day and pin one onto her half-torn clothes. She would peep through the holes of a school compound and watch the flag hoisting. She knew the anthem and proudly sang it with pride. Her own people never accepted her yet she loved them so much.

Why did it not bother her that nobody cared when she fell ill and threw her to the dogs when she came for water? What is that about the city that still kept her to her feet?

               It has only been 6 years since she has been in this world and yet she has a wisdom that even a learned cannot have. It is simple she says. If every time in life you are only going to see the dark, you will always remain in the dark. When a candle is lit in a dark room, no matter how small the flame is, it brightens every corner of the room. That is why she does not cry over all the times people have trampled over her. She instead remembers all those who came to her rescue during her desperation.

As she walked pass a few cars, begging for coins, one shiny car opened their door and gave her a plastic bag filled with some new clothes. It was Diwali, a time for new clothes to flaunt. She grabbed the bag and ran across the road and took out each item one after the other and examined them. She was choosy and found one that she liked the most. She kept back rest of the clothes, handed the bag to one of the elders and said, “Tai ye hum kal subah meri baaki saheliyon ko baatengey. Kripyiya isse surakshit jagah pey rakhna.” (Translation: “Sister, please keep this bag safe with you. Tomorrow morning we shall distribute these clothes to my friends.”)

If only we can learn something from her. She might look poverty-stricken. Yet her heart is richer than ours is.