Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the city, she stood still as time froze around her. She had her eyes fixated onto one entity afar that she forgot she was surrounded by plenty. Her mind was in a state of limbo and was floating with the flow of her thoughts.
Unguarded, she started to strip in the middle of the crowded street. Everyone who passed by would stop to watch her while they passed by her. Some even stopped their conversations and looked straight at her. A few others took their smart devices out to capture what they were witnessing. Another group called out to more people and brought their attention to her. Whispers, scribbling papers, flashes of light, nothing diverted her eyes from what it was focused on.
Naked in front of the world, she was lost and her eyes didn’t feel ashamed looking at people staring at her, neither did her ears get numb with the sound of the chattering crowd. Astonished as they were, the crowd started to disperse after enjoying the short span of free entertainment. The chattering sounds stopped, the lights stopped flashing, scribbling of papers died and the eyes stopped rolling while she made no movement. She was forgotten in a few hours and the world had moved on.
Hours later she smiled as tears started pouring from her eyes. She felt light-hearted, happiness filled her mind which now was at peace. She was clean of her guilt, suffering, embarrassment, sorrow and misery. It took her years to come in terms with the wild heart she kept caged inside of her. She now learnt that it was easier to be her real self and set herself loose than be trapped in a cage for a world that never saw anything beyond her flaws.
That funny feeling lingered on for days, as if it had been just hours since she last met him. Her mind was occupied only with his reflection. His dark eyes, messy hair and the grip of his strong arms around her. She felt safe. He made her feel safe.
Her heart that was caged behind a prison wall, would not stop trying to break out from it. But the prison walls were so tall and strong, that her heart only grew weary of trying. She was scared to give it all that she had. They told her that prison walls can be climbed over or broken down, if one was determined. But the fear of taking a huge leap and falling hard, only to be crushed into pieces again, kept her from trying harder.
Her soul was lost and wanted to be found. It wished that it be found only by his alone. Her heart could not make a choice between taking the risk and giving it all or carrying more regrets without trying. Day and night her heart and soul would fight. Although both knew deep down that the solution was him, neither of them had much faith in how strong her mind was before she lost her sanity for eternity.
”Look up”, he said “We will grow for eternity, intertwined together forever.” She wanted to believe him. But all she saw, was the dark edges that shadowed them. Underneath the green cover, it obstructed the light from entering in.
He said “Together we will be safe from the harsh heat and won’t get burned down”. She thought to herself, the shade only took away the light and the warmth. It dimmed the lights and darkened the skies. She was scared that her soul would freeze to death thanks to the cold that surrounded her.
He promised that it would get easier with time. But time was very expensive. One that she couldn’t afford.
She blocked him out so that she could fight all her bondage by herself. She made a promise that she will be back soon and he waited patiently awaiting her return. Isolation from the world brought her inner peace. When her soul returned victoriously dancing to the sound of freedom, he was gone. He was away fighting a war against the same demons that she shut him out for. It was now, her turn to sit cautiously and hope that her soldier returns unharmed.
When the day of his arrival came, she bathed herself in exotic bath, dressed herself in silk clothing and prepared the finest meal. She set the table with clean linen sheet, porcelain crockery, scented candles and a delicate vase with a bunch of red roses. It was time.
At the table, the two sat facing each other and the room was dimly lit by candlelight. Their faces gleamed through the light but as they looked closer into each other their sight blurred further. They were both aware that wars always took a toll on the living. This time, it destroyed their common ground. Their souls were lost and were on a path very different from the other. There was no mutuality and their journey together had reached a diversion.
What of all the mortal longings if one does not need their consort to support through all the good times and the BAD?