That funny feeling lingered on for days, as if it had been just hours since she last met him. Her mind was occupied only with his reflection. His dark eyes, messy hair and the grip of his strong arms around her. She felt safe. He made her feel safe.
Her heart that was caged behind a prison wall, would not stop trying to break out from it. But the prison walls were so tall and strong, that her heart only grew weary of trying. She was scared to give it all that she had. They told her that prison walls can be climbed over or broken down, if one was determined. But the fear of taking a huge leap and falling hard, only to be crushed into pieces again, kept her from trying harder.
Her soul was lost and wanted to be found. It wished that it be found only by his alone. Her heart could not make a choice between taking the risk and giving it all or carrying more regrets without trying. Day and night her heart and soul would fight. Although both knew deep down that the solution was him, neither of them had much faith in how strong her mind was before she lost her sanity for eternity.
She blocked him out so that she could fight all her bondage by herself. She made a promise that she will be back soon and he waited patiently awaiting her return. Isolation from the world brought her inner peace. When her soul returned victoriously dancing to the sound of freedom, he was gone. He was away fighting a war against the same demons that she shut him out for. It was now, her turn to sit cautiously and hope that her soldier returns unharmed.
When the day of his arrival came, she bathed herself in exotic bath, dressed herself in silk clothing and prepared the finest meal. She set the table with clean linen sheet, porcelain crockery, scented candles and a delicate vase with a bunch of red roses. It was time.
At the table, the two sat facing each other and the room was dimly lit by candlelight. Their faces gleamed through the light but as they looked closer into each other their sight blurred further. They were both aware that wars always took a toll on the living. This time, it destroyed their common ground. Their souls were lost and were on a path very different from the other. There was no mutuality and their journey together had reached a diversion.
What of all the mortal longings if one does not need their consort to support through all the good times and the BAD?
Each step that she took felt to her as if she was walking on thin air. The Ground was so light that her feet almost gave away. She feared falling hard on her face yet managed to keep her head up, taking every step cautiously.
They say a man shows true courage when he faces his worst fears and breaks it. She envied such admiration. She wanted to be like a brave warrior who bursts through the clutches of his enemies after defeating them and is applauded for it.
Her enemies were worldly fixations created by humans. They bred inside of her and put up a strong struggle crushing her every attempt. It was her own existence that she feared the most. Having grown up under the shadows of deceivers, she feared that she had turned into a monster like them.
She believed that she was journeying through Life in Pursuit of Redemption.
In her heinous world full of envy, hatred, vanity, lust, greed and selfishness it was difficult to yield a kind heard. She knew she would be trampled upon with dirt if she came clean. Her heart was pure in her world of pretense. Blinded by the agony of facing her fears, she believed she was pellucid and closed her mind to the reality.
She continued taking each step only wishing for the best. She hoped what she was walking towards was the path to redemption. She knew that she had failed to think for her and see beyond crude lines. Yet she did not mind living in her daydream. A fantasy she was happy that existed to alleviate her blind, deaf and mute frame.